The importance of Being Earnest – a life lived with intention

The New Year brings a lot of pressure to start fresh, get your act together and do better than the year before doesn’t it? The whole resolutions thing, that we all know doesn’t work, hangs over our head like the sword of Damocles.  Maybe it’s just me. At least it used to be me. 

Me before bullet journalling.

When I was a child I faithfully kept a diary. I recorded the weather, the events that impacted my life and my deeply held feelings and beliefs about life in general including New Year’s resolutions alongside boring everyday happenings. 

There was always a ‘dear reader’ looking over my shoulder as I wrote. Very Jane Austin or Charlotte Bronte and possibly encouraged by reading ‘The Diary of Anne Frank.’ I gave up writing in diaries after I found out mum was secretly reading them. The archaeologists would never know what happened to the young Welsh girl who moved to Australia. They wouldn’t know what the weather patterns were or the social norms or the times. 

Then I became a busy mum and I had to quickly learn how to use a wall planner/calendar that was filled with all the social events, church events, birthdays, basketball games, music lessons, dental appointments and everything else that make up being a very busy family.  I thought I was super organised. I wasn’t. I was paddling fast and getting nowhere. Things fell through the cracks on a daily basis. I was reacting to life. The stickers and fluro highlighters were pretty though.

A few years later I added work and volunteering into the already busy mix. More hours than a full time job. I was drowning in my own scattered mind. I quickly had to learn how to use a diary. There were Gant charts, wall planners, year at a glance calendars, week to an opening, daily note books. I learned how to make SMART goals, use Venn diagrams and a whole raft of other stuff. Most of the things I learned are the type of things that are designed for people with a different kind of brain. 

I became adept at whatever was thrown at me. I was organised into a ‘cocked hat.’ A nautical term I learned doing a crash course in sailing while simultaneously teaching marginalised teens how to sail. Skipper a thirty foot yacht with zero experience sailing and a boat load of delinquents? No problem. Create musicians from a bunch of teens with no instruments? Of course! In my spare time you say? Sure! I became an admin queen. At least I looked like I was an admin queen. I had the skills, yet my brain was even more scattered. I had a million ideas of things I wanted to do and no time to do them or any idea how to fit them in to my ridiculously busy life. 

I wasn’t using tools that suited me. I simply became who I needed to be to get it all done. Sound familiar? We do that don’t we? I spent my life making myself into the person I thought everyone needed me to be. It’s called masking these days. 

Then, a few years ago, I discovered The Bullet Journal Method. To those in the know, the BuJo.

BuJo’s are set up to work differently from a diary or calendar system. It still keeps track of time and events like a diary and yet it is completely different. When used correctly the bullet journal is a tool for living a mindful, intentional, reflective life. It’s not so much about how, what or when as it is about why. It begs the question “Who do I want to be?’

Using tools for reflection, practicing gratitude, being present and setting intentions are some of the things that set it apart.

All the things a brain like mine needs. I can tend to rush through life getting stuff done and filling my world with things to do without stopping to think whether it is important to me or not. Reacting to life rather than choosing my life. I’m also very good at filling my time with everyone else’s priorities and leaving my own hopes and dreams in the margins of my life. I spent years living like that and it’s a really good recipe for burnout.

Every January I start a new BuJo. It has taken a few years for me to learn how to use the system, as it was intended, I’m still learning. At first I used it like a diary. A record of events or a list of tasks. I tracked my progress and felt like a failure when I didn’t tick the boxes.

I had missed the point. I kept going, even though I didn’t fully comprehend it, I knew it was helping even if I wasn’t using it to its full potential. If I’d slowed down long enough to understand the system I would have seen that Ryder Caroll, who came up with the bullet journal method, has videos on YouTube and courses on his website to help people understand his method. I watched a few videos, read his book and got cracking. I charged ahead without fully understanding what I was doing. I one of these people who don’t read manuals. I tend to think I can figure things out by myself.

This year I discovered I have been skimming the surface with the way I use my bullet journal. I had big gaps in my understanding of the complexities and brilliance of the system. To some extent I’d fallen back into diary mode. Ah! The joy and comfort of old habits.

Reflecting on the whole year, you begin to see patterns emerging. Behaviours or habits that don’t serve you and need to be changed. It’s much easier to notice other people’s patterns of behaviour than our own.

For example, in January 2025, as I reflected on the previous year,  I saw a lot of writing about not sleeping well, this pattern of poor sleeping was having a direct impact on my creativity and productivity.

Poor sleep is something that has dogged me for years. I had accepted it as my lot in life and thought of myself as an insomniac. I kept pushing forward. Reflecting in my BuJo and seeing the impact lack of sleep was having, finally made me stop and ask questions. What if I could improve my quality of sleep. What did I have to lose? What could I do if I had more energy? The first thing I did was quit caffeine. I drank sparkling water instead. I googled, as you do, and started using magnesium spray daily. Small tweaks often make a big difference.

I have now been sleeping better since before we had babies in the eighties.

Living an intentional, mindful life takes regular reflection. Daily, Weekly, Monthly and Annually. The BuJo takes a little time to set up initially and it takes a little getting used to. Don’t let that put you off, it’s worth it because it’s powerful and life-changing.

I walked my husband through bullet journalling recently and I could see him thinking: ‘to do list’ or a diary full of appointments and meetings. I could almost see the weight of it hitting him. He retired from the corporate world in July last year and I could tell it was bringing it all back to him. The enormous weight of carrying a huge budget, meetings, deadlines etc. 

I explained how the BuJo is different. I told him it’s a way of freeing up your mind and beginning to take control of your own life, to write your own story rather than being reactive and letting life simply happen to you. He started! A couple of days in he said he is feeling different already.

I know that using a BuJo has changed me. I also know I still have a lot to learn. I’d like to leave you with a snippet from Ryder Caroll speaking about the Bullet Journal method much more succinctly than I ever could:

“What if I used it as way to learn about myself? What am I thinking? What am I feeling? What do I truly value? What brings me closer to those things, and what distracts me from them? So I did. I structured my system to help me practice this form of self-inquiry and I discovered the missing piece: The Why.” If you are interested here is a like to the Bullet Journal Website.

Here’s to 2026, and to figuring it all out as we go along, one intention at a time.

Here are a few of my intentions. They are not set in concrete and they are centred around how I want to be, not a to do list. We are human beings not human doings.

1. Be curious about my difficulties so I keep learn instead of getting stuck.
2. Be open and honest with myself and others about my feelings so I’m understood and I’m more me — I can tend to ignore my own feelings and needs and end up doing what is important to others.
3. Be more tuned into my body, mind and spirit rather than social media. Not until I have used my energy for creativity first. —This one is already having a big impact and it’s only been a week.

There are more but I think you get the gist. Let me know if you decide to give bullet journalling a go. I hope your year is filled with creativity and wonder and that you find yourself surprised by joy.