The end of all things

Now that I am at the pointy end of life, it’s funny how my thoughts tend toward ‘the end of all things’ as Tolkien described the end of the world. Don’t get me wrong, I am appreciating every day I’m given as if it’s my last, well not quite, but I am living my life to the best of my ability.

I sometimes worry that I’m losing my memory if I forget where I put something. No one wants to be a burden to their family. Having watched quite a few relatives lose their memories, and genetics being what they are it seems to be a given that it will happen to me. I have relatives on both sides of my family who have lost their memories toward the end. The problem is we don’t know when the end will happen. It would be so much simpler if Gandalf just showed up one day and told us it’s time to board a beautiful elven ship and set sail.

Rather than worrying if it will happen to me, I prefer to be proactive. I read somewhere that learning a new language or a new instrument is good to keep your brain elastic and developing.

It was too far outside my comfort zone. Funny thing is, I’m pretty sure that’s how it feels to develop new neuron pathways. It was hard to stay consistent with that level of discomfort; plus it didn’t feel as urgent to keep my brain elastic four years ago.

Last year, with my sixty-ninth birthday looming (where did that decade go?) I decided I would learn French. That’s good for the brain right? I loved French in high school and I was pretty good at speaking with the locals when we visited France in 2019. It was fun to beat the app’s score every day and I may have a mild competition going with my cousin, Kate, in the UK. I have been consistently learning French, using an online app, for the last 543 days. I know right?

I turned seventy this year which fills me with trepidation and also thankfulness. I can no longer say I’m in my sixties. Growing old is a privilege that some of my dearest friends didn’t experience. Many of them didn’t make it this far so I am very thankful to still be here.

Now that I’m as old as I am, I can tend to see every memory slip as the first step to losing it altogether. Everyone has a laugh at each other when keys are misplaced or someone forgets something. We elbow each other and smile saying it’s ‘old timer’s disease’ with a nod and a wink. Honestly, would we know? Won’t we forget that we’ve forgotten? Instead of freaking out about it I try to counteract it by keeping my brain learning. That’s were my core values come in.

My core values are Connection, Curiosity and Creativity. Staying connected to those I love, staying curious and playful and creative, these are the keys to my ongoing happiness. These core values drive me forward and keep me engaged. I know if I stay connected to people, stay curious and consistently create art that it will continue to challenge my brain to stay elastic.

With all that in mind, I have decided to give Ukulele another shot. I know it will do my head in but that is kind of the point. It’s about making my brain work harder right? That’s got to be good for me. I’ve already looked up sea shanties and plan to have some sing-a-longs. If my kids knew you’d hear them groaning already.

I think the key is to be doing things outside of our comfort zone, not way outside, just on the edge. Just before we reach the freak out zone. You know, that place where your amygdala turns into the robot from Lost in Space and yells ‘Danger, Danger, Will Robinson!’ The moment when we run back to the comfort zone. It’s about finding the balance.

Wish me luck as I tackle a new instrument and look for other ways to have a beginner’s mind for as long as possible.
Happy creating everyone.