Into the unknown

Does anyone else feel the anxiety in the air? What will happen once we all go back to living our lives again? Will people hug? What is life going to look like after isolation? Am I the only one who is asking these questions?

Before Covid 19, (I guess that’s the way we’ll be talking about everything now. Before and after the pandemic changed the whole world) I went to see Frozen II with my daughter and her two girls. It was an exceptional movie. I was surprised by the themes of living more in tune with nature and the nature of who we are. Usually I hate movies that manipulate with environmental propaganda. Frozen II goes deeper than the environment. It speaks to the true nature of each of us, the elemenal, deeper, wilder part of us that we all know exists, but have a tendancy to ignore.

What is it about being one with nature that we buck against? You might not, but when I was growing up, being too touchy-feely was seen as a weakness. Being too much of a hippy meant somehow you were a wimp. So what has all this got to do with Frozen II and isolation? It’s the song. Elsa sings ‘Into the Unknown.’ It’s going round and round in my head. Next week isolation may be over and life as we know it, will change again.

While we were in this liminal space I have been able to keep it all together. The world out there and me in here. I miss my family dreadfully, but knowing they are safe makes me feel safe. There is nothing to worry about. Initially it was terrifying as our grandson and then his mother, our daughter-in-law, developed pneumonia. (Not tested for Covid) My cousin in the UK had pneumonia around the same time. (Also not tested) There is such a feeling of helplessness when you can’t even drop off some chicken soup or be there to help. Thankfully they all survived and we can move on from the sheer terror of losing them. I know for some, this is not true. Many people have lost family and friends and the world has lost some great artists. The world has changed.

Covid 19 is a threat to someone like me. I will be sixty-five in a couple of days and I am asthmatic, so the thought of someone coughing their Covid bugs on me brings low level terror into a small part of my mind. The rest of my mind says “chill.” The funny thing is, because I’m asthmatic I often cough, when there’s pollen in the air, or if someone is burning off. It’s funny because I see people ducking and dodging to get away from me just in case I’m contagious. Pot, kettle people.

My birthday this year will be an epic fail. Last year was a fail because I had a chest infection for the whole of May. This year, it’s an iso birthday where I will suck it up and be thankful that I haven’t lost anyone and I am still here to celebrate another birthday.

Will we ever be normal again? What is normal? Certainly it wasn’t risking death with a hug. Elsa takes up the challenge in Frozen II and goes into the unknown led by a secret siren who is calling her to leave her comfort zone. She has to embrace the elements of Earth, Wind, Fire and Water which is pretty cool. Spoiler alert, the Water one turns out to be a horse, which I loved.

The idea of embracing who we are, at an elemental level, the bare bones of what makes us who we are, is exciting to me. I have faith that the one who created me, and the universe I live in, will continue to call me, like a siren. Calling me out of the known and into the unknown.

Whether it is safe is irrelevant, at some level, and anxiety about anything changes nothing and helps no-one. Of course I will be sensible and wash my hands and be as safe as possible, but I am looking forward to the new chapter and I cannot wait to hug my children and grandchildren. No need to fear the unknown, it is simply unknown because we haven’t been there yet. It is the future and change is the only constant.