Are we there yet?

This was my least favourite question when we drove to visit family in Adelaide. It meant the boredom had set in and we would need to get very imaginative, very quickly. We had to avoid any killing in the back seat. We would tell stories, taking it in turns, each person leaving the story on a cliff-hanger for the next. I wish I’d written them down or recorded them. Some of them were hilarious.

This year I will be turning sixty-five, the year when society tells us it’s time to hang up our spurs. I left work a year ago, so as far as the tax department is concerned, I have already checked out .

So am I busy growing flowers and vegetables? Well, yes I am, but are we there yet? Not by a long shot.

I have spent my ‘time off’ learning as much as I can about writing. I need a lot more practice. It has been a lot of fun doing online courses and experimenting with creative writing. I may be addicted to on line courses. Have I written a book yet? Are we there yet? Do I have a best seller? Erm, nope. I wrote a memoir that I self published and shared with family. I also set out to keep this blog for sharing my work, being brave and putting myself out there. I’ve discovered it’s not easy sharing my work with the world. Imposter syndrome is real, as is the very nasty Inner Critic. (To name only two of the things holding me back)

I spend a lot of time second guessing myself and wondering if I can write at all.

How is this contributing to society? What if my writing is complete and utter tripe.

What keeps me going, despite the difficulties, is the desire to create. It’s more of a need actually, like breathing. I get up every morning and write three pages of stream of consciousness in my notebook, then spend time doing my online courses. This feeds my soul and challenges me more than anything I have ever done before. I’m hoping I will find the courage to write and complete a story. So far I have a lot of beginnings. Are we there yet? Nope.

This year I decided that I would challenge myself with something new and different. Something that will stretch me creatively. Not that writing doesn’t stretch me to breaking point sometimes, it does. I am learning how to use an app called ‘Procreate’ and stealing like an artist, as Austin Kleon would say. I find a picture I like and I try to draw it. The drawing is completley absorbing and I am enjoying figuring out how to get my drawings to look like the originals. Are we there yet? Definitely not.

I grew up believing I couldn’t draw. There was a lot I didn’t think I could do, like singing, but it turns out I’m a pretty awesome singer, so who knows, maybe I can draw too. At the very least I am having a lot of fun trying. Are we there yet? You’d think so by now, but no, we’re not.

I’ll be joining the work force again next month. How weird is that? Part time, so I still get to write and draw. I get to play with ponies and people, and my boss is my best friend. It doesn’t get much better than that.

So, are we there yet? There’s that question again telling me it’s time to get creative!