Straight from the horses mouth

My horse has been my greatest teacher. Horses, and other animals, are constantly communicating with each other, even with us, if we pay attention and learn how. 

I have always been horse crazy. Coming to Australia I was promised my own horse as incentive to leave Wales. Not that I had a choice. Mary Poppins says it best: ‘That’s a pie crust promise, easily made and easily broken.’ 

I made up for the lack of a horse by paying to ride at riding schools every weekend. I worked in a Chemist on Saturday morning and the money I made paid for my afternoon ride. I hung around them so much I ended up volunteering there. I loved being around horses. I adored their grassy smell and their liquid eyes I would do anything to have them breathing on me and I loved how it felt to be near them. I became a good self-taught rider and would ride anything. Each horse had a different personality and I knew them all. The closeness I had read about in books, the relationship I longed for was elusive. Those overworked horses tolerated me. 

When we married and moved to the hills, the first thing I did was find a riding school. I made everyone ride with me.  My husband and all our friends had to experience horses. I even made my employer and his family come up and ride one weekend. 

Fast forward another decade, and our young adult daughter, Meg, suggested that we buy ourselves horses so we could ride together. It had been a few years since we had lost and grieved several beloved ponies. Meg bought a pretty palomino mare, and soon after, I bought a beautiful chestnut gelding. My dream of having my own horse was a reality. I had years of experience riding horses with fire in their blood, and I was confident I could manage anything.

On our second ride out, Jack spooked when a man and his dog came up the road behind us. Jack reared up and tossed me off like a ragdoll. I broke several ribs and was knocked unconscious. When I came to, I stood up and told the concerned dog walker that I was fine. Meg had ridden on ahead and only knew something was wrong when Jack came through the trees with no rider. She caught him and brought him back. Somehow, I managed to get back on and ride him back to the paddock. It seemed easier than walking. Each step was agony. Jack was jig-jogging, anxious to get home.

I stayed in bed for days, feeling like I had been run over by a Mack truck. It shook my confidence, and for the first time in my life, I was wary of riding. Our daughter had to find someone else to ride with or go it alone. Her horse started bucking all the way down the road every time she tried to ride. It was not safe and it was frightening for her.

By now, we were both lacking confidence and had more or less given up. Neither of us felt safe riding anymore. My husband wanted to know why we had ‘glorified lawn-mowers’ if we weren’t going to ride them. Traditional thinking is that horses are only for riding. The traditional way of being with horses is about being the boss and making them do what you want. I’ve never liked dominating these noble creatures. I longed for the relationship I’d read about in books when I was little.

Five years earlier, we had seen an American horseman at Equitana – a large horse expo in Melbourne. He rode into the arena, bareback and bridle-less, at a full gallop, and came to a slide stop simply by breathing out. His horse was amazing. He brought a team of trainees. There were about fifteen people running around the arena with their horses. No ropes, just each person with their horse sticking by them. We bought his book and tried to figure it out with our daughter’s Thoroughbred horse. We had no idea what we were doing. A few years later, her horse died tragically, and that was the end of that.

Fast forward five years to our two new horses and being at our wits end. I decided to see if the American horseman was on the internet.  Turns out he had been very busy training up people all over Australia and New Zealand and we booked into a clinic and took our horses for the weekend.

It was one of those life changing decisions. 

The instructor sent us both out to just spend time with our horses. Undemanding time she called it. The instruction was: don’t enter their space unless they come over and touch you. Let them approach you, don’t touch them first. Offer your hand for them to sniff, then wait.

It felt strange and pointless and like a complete waste of time and money. 

The horses ignored us for a long time. The instructor came out to see how we were doing and encouraged us to hang in there. After what felt like hours, both horses approached us. We were standing at the fence, waiting for permission to enter and not believing it would ever happen. Both horses sniffed us from head to toe as though we were new creatures they’d never met before. They snuffled our hair, our necks, nudged us with their noses. They sniffed all the way down to our shoes. It was the most amazing feeling and for the first time in my life I felt a tenuous connection. 

We took them home at the end of the weekend and they were different horses. They were calm and relaxed even unloading in the dark. 

Horses have heightened senses. They are far more perceptive than us. They can tell by the way we walk or hold our bodies where our body aches. They can tell how fast we can run and how quickly they can get away from us. They are hardwired to make these assessments. They are prey animals, and we are the ultimate predator. They instinctively read predators so they don’t end up on the menu. They know our mood from our eyes and can feel our energy from the moment they see us arrive at their paddock. They read our intent long before we are even aware of it ourselves. Some of the benefits for humans are when we are near horses they regulate our heartbeat and increase our sense of well-being, among other things.

Fast forward eighteen years.

Learning to communicate with Jack and give him the respect he deserves, to treat him with dignity has taught me how to be better with humans. It has been life-changing. In a nutshell, I treat everyone I meet as if they are a horse. Jack has made me a better person, a better listener, a better friend. To tell of all I have learned from him would fill a book and you have already read enough for one day. Thank you for reading. Jack sends his love.